Most people would not realize this, but the roots of defensiveness go back to caveman days. Two-and-a-half million years ago, when early human hunter-gatherers lived in caves, life was about survival. When confronted by a saber-tooth cat or a bear, one’s survival instincts kicked in. This fight or flight response triggers an internal alarm where […]
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The current vaccination rollout is gaining momentum and the potential end of the pandemic is in sight. Thus, there is some optimism connected to the return of some degree of normalcy soon. In addition to the obviously tragic death toll, there is also an endless amount of collective grief for everything that has been lost
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It sounds surprising, but new research indicates that MDMA (ecstasy) can help boost couples’ success in therapy. Starting about 45 years ago in the late 1970s and early 1980s, a few therapists were experimentally having clients use MDMA during individual, couples counseling, and group therapy sessions. However, this groundbreaking research exploring the therapeutic benefits of
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There’s little question that the pandemic significantly impacted our lives and intimate relationships. No doubt, many of our sex lives have been impacted. At the beginning of the pandemic, quarantining felt more like a novelty. Being sequestered at home with our partners actually improved many couples’ sex lives. There was even some discussion about people
How COVID-19 has Killed Our Sex Lives and What to Do About It Read More »
Research indicates that the positive feelings associated with being in a new relationship, during what’s known as the “Honeymoon Phase,” lasts between 18 months and 3 years. After the initial honeymoon phase fades, many couples begin to wonder if the relationship can survive for the long haul. They often need to overcome many hurdles to
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Almost all relationships, after the beginning phase, end up establishing a rhythm for how they operate day-to-day. Patterns and rituals form which, over time, can contribute to a fading emotional connection. Relationships do have a natural ebb and flow when it comes to emotional connection and disconnection. But long-term disconnection can be very damaging, especially
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We’re creeping up on one year into the pandemic. It should not surprise you that people are feeling very isolated these days. Most people are likely separated from most family and friends, which can breed loneliness. However, it may surprise you that people who are in committed relationships sometimes experience loneliness too. In fact, an
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There are a few compelling reasons why most people more easily attack their partner instead of expressing their own needs and desires in a healthy way. One of the primary reasons is that it’s far easier to naturally share what we don’t like and what’s not working for us than to express what we do
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Yes, sometimes men in heterosexual relationships do indeed get a bad rap. Stereotypically, men are thought of as those who want to maintain control and don’t want to share power in relationships. Like most stereotypes though, there is a kernel of truth in this. Some men do struggle to accept influence from their partners. John
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Trauma, in one form or another, contributes significantly to relationship instability and dissatisfaction. In fact, 90% of the couples I’ve seen for couples counseling have been negatively impacted or hurt in one way or another because of the unresolved trauma from at least one partner. They are often unaware that their past experiences are responsible
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