Lee knew it was bad when the neighbors called in the police. She knew they’d been having marriage trouble. She knew they’d been fighting. She even knew they’d been fighting a lot. But somehow she’d been making excuses, sure it would all blow over, sure it wasn’t that bad. Not really…it couldn’t be that bad, could it?
When she opened the door and saw the policeman’s face and his hand hovering near his gun as though he was almost sure he’d be facing serious trouble…then she knew it was really that bad. All she could do was stand there and wonder, “Can this marriage be saved?”
It doesn’t matter whether it’s money or adultery or job stress or drink or drugs…or even just plain human misery. There’s a point where you can’t make excuses anymore. With between 40% and 50% of American marriages ending in divorce marriage trouble must be taken seriously.
Are you, like Lee, at the point of asking, “Can this marriage be saved?” Are you dealing with fights, even violence? Loss of intimacy, loss of hope, loss of courage? Have hard times in the world beyond the front door turned into hard times behind that closed door? Does marriage trouble seem to get up five minutes before the alarm goes off, and come to bed right along with you? Then it’s time for you to take steps.
The only way to save a marriage is to face the marriage trouble and find help. Finding an experienced professional in private practice is the first place to start. While many therapists will see couples, other therapists specialize in working with marriage and relationship counseling and are experienced to offer the support you may need.
What if your partner refused to participate? Even alone a therapist can provide some help and guidance. Sometimes it is actually beneficial to gain clarity while attending marriage counseling without your partner. If you honestly face the question “Can this marriage be saved” and you have chosen a skilled professional, you will likely get the necessary support. Whether it saves your marriage or only your happiness it will make a difference.
Lee was lucky. The policeman who came to the door left her a list of therapists in the community. She was brave enough to pick up the phone the next morning and call one…and braver still insisting that her husband come, too. They all worked together to deal with the marriage troubles: the money, the fights and more. It wasn’t easy. It never is. But the two came out stronger for it.
If you ask “Can this marriage be saved,” take your courage and act, like Lee did. Couples counseling is a mere phone call or a silent email away. Marriage troubles, like most other troubles, only grow worse when left to fester. Act now, and change your life.
