Being around Bethany and Bret was like being on a roller coaster. Sometimes they were the nicest, happiest couple you could ever know. Other times? Like keeping company with a pair of ogres. No one knew quite what to think: when they were good together they were marvelous. But when they were bad it was hard to believe they had any real relationship compatibility. Even they began to wonder what to make of all the marital conflict.
The battles were getting in the way of all the things they hoped for. Bret’s focus at work was shaky after fights, and he was losing promotions he knew he could have gotten. Bethany was hungry for a baby, but determined not to bring any baby into a marriage as unhappy as theirs.
Entire weekends were lost to squabbles they didn’t even understand. Later Bethany would think, “Did I really just spend five hours screaming about the difference between butter and margarine? Why did I do that?” The question of relationship compatibility seemed important, by then. Maybe they were just the wrong two people in the wrong marriage.
Bethany could only think of one way to find out. So she began to get counseling on her own, determined to make some kind of start at dealing with their marital conflict.
Many people give up worthwhile relationships on the basis of bad relationship compatibility without first trying to find out if the marriage is really doomed or not. While there are pairings that should be dissolved, most couples who want to preserve their marriages have more hope than many realize.
Marriage counseling and couples counseling has developed a collection of methods and approaches to help couples find out if they’re really suffering from matters of relationship compatibility, or if they’re just in need of help learning new patterns of thought and behavior. Marital conflict can give way to marital happiness when two people under the guidance of a skilled professional work together to correct bad habits and enrich mutual understanding.
By committing to counseling a client has taken the first step in recovering control and dignity in a relationship and reigniting the passion and intimacy that first brought a couple together. Marital therapy provides a couple with guidance and a wealth of knowledge and experience drawn from the studies and practices of professionals around the world.
Within weeks of starting Bethany knew she’d made the right choice. She told Bret how much difference it was making for her, and learned that he’d been noticing the change. Soon he asked to start couples sessions, and as they worked together they found that their fears regarding relationship compatibility had been unfounded. They’re not done yet, but recently they celebrated a double victory that says how much counseling has altered their lives: Bret has a new promotion! And Bethany? She’s decorating the nursery.
If you want to see if there’s hope for your relationship, too, it’s time to look into professional counseling. Make the commitment to a new and better life. Start today in order to change your life and save your marriage.
