No one can deny the importance of having a healthy sex life in a relationship. The Hollywood image of a healthy sex life is often depicted as a primary source of connection and pleasure in relationships. Sometimes what’s portrayed onscreen can seem fantastical, far-fetched, and unrealistic. However, the truth is that what you see in movies and on TV may not be as far off from reality as you thought. Research shows that having a healthy sex life is good for both the relationship and for each partner’s personal satisfaction.
Is Relationship Intimacy an Important Benefit of a Healthy Sex Life?
Dr. Amy Muise, a researcher who studies the effects of sex on relationships, wanted to find out exactly why sex leads to all of these benefits for relationships and well-being. She states the media portrays that the main benefit of sex is just the physical pleasure. However, Dr. Muse and her colleagues wanted to test the hypothesis that the intimacy that comes from sex is a key benefit of having a regular sex life. Specifically, Dr. Muise wanted to see if affection, a big part of relationship intimacy, leads to greater relationship satisfaction and a sense of well-being.
Does Affection lead to Sex or Does Sex lead to Affection?
Dr. Muise conducted four different studies. The first two studies established that those couples who do have a more frequent sex life also experience greater affection toward one another. In addition, these first two studies showed that a more frequent sex life leads to individuals feeling happier. Yet, these studies couldn’t ascertain if affection leads to sex or if sex leads to affection. So, her team conducted two more experiments to get more data and answer this question.
The Benefits of Sex
With the final two studies, Dr. Muise found that when couples had more sex, they did, in fact, become more affectionate towards one another. The increase in affection led to couples to feel happier. This was observable when they followed up with the couple the morning after the sex occurred. She also discovered that the benefits of sex do have a positive effect over time. After six months, those partners felt more satisfied with the relationship. Thus, it’s important for couples to experience positive feelings (happiness, pleasure, etc.) after sex as these do provide a benefit later on down the road.
What Future Research Could Answer
So, what does this all mean? There’s no denying that a healthy sex life is important in relationships because of the greater intimacy and connection formed between partners. A healthy sex life also not only has benefits for the relationship, but it is also helpful for individuals to feel more satisfied and happy. Future research may want to examine relationship levels of affection independent of sex. In other words, can the benefits of consistent affection exist even without having a consistent sex life?
Tips for Couples Based on the Research
1. Aim high and absolutely seek to have a healthy sex life with your partner.
2. Prioritize sex with your partner even if it is less than ideal. Also, try not to let mismatched libidos interfere with striving for a healthy sex life.
3. Make affection in your relationship a high priority even if there are any obstacles preventing the two of you from having a consistent sex life. The research does suggest that affection, even without an active sex life, can make a huge difference for yourself and your relationship.
4. If struggling with creating a healthy sex life, or with establishing a healthy level of affection with one another, don’t hesitate to find a skilled couples therapist to get help.
Hollywood and the media often portray relationships as encompassing a fantasy of pleasure and happiness that is built on sex. Although there are many factors that can affect relationship satisfaction, sex does play an important role. This is true both in terms of the relationship and the happiness/contentment of each partner.
If you are having trouble with having a healthy sex life in your relationship, don’t hesitate to seek out couples counseling for support.
